map

i'm a proud bride to be today because i just finished drawing the map insert for our invitations. yes i'm still procrastinating designing the meat of them but it's all got to get done regardless of the order right? progress is progress.

i was inspired by these map tote bags, and though my design fell a little short i'm pretty happy with the results. i think they are a good functional mix of hand drawn lines and legibility, which is what a map is really all about right, getting where you need to go? the size of the invitation insert is about 5" x 4" so too much info would just be a jumble for the small application. i think i may add a Maine title a la the tote bags but i'm still debating...thoughts?

the dress

i finally took some photos of myself in the dress so i could share them with my LA girlfriend and shopping buddy. she is going to help me on my shoe hunt. i was afraid to share with her but did so i thought i'd suck it up and share with you all as well.

since i've had such dress anxiety i'm a little terrified about putting it out there, like if it's not good and i dont show anyone until the day of the wedding they wont have any way to tell me they dont like it until after when it wont matter anymore. crazy i know.

that being said, i'd love to hear what you think...( but really only if you think it's pretty and i'm nuts, i can't handle any negative feedback!)

they are hidden here:

MIKE NO PEEKING

goodbye evite - hello paperless post

as my los angeles girls weekend of fun approaches the emails and invitations have begun to circulate and i just had to share the company i am using to send e-invitations out for our lingerie brunch. it's called paperless post and it is like evite for the design minded girl.

they have a limited selection of patterns (they are still in beta so i hope that means more to come) but they are all very classy and give you great color control, they also have some photo options for those who wish to really personalize. the have really elegant font choices, type size, line spacing, and justification control. the kicker is that the invitation looks and acts like a paper invitation, a beautiful envelope - fully lined flips over and opens to reveal the details - it was perfect for a last minute, not super formal party which we would have sent paper invites for if we had thought it through better. i highly suggest checking them out if you have been thinking about going the digital route for any of your events ( and i'm not being paid by them i swear!) the one downside - BEWARE of the pay for extras.

thats news to me

i just got a new piece of "wedding etiquette" that i was unaware of, and might i say have no interest in being concerned about, but i thought it worth mentioning just to see if you all have ever heard of such a thing.

did you know that the mother of the bride is to buy her dress first and then all of the other mothers are to match her in fabric choice and length? who knew? since mike's sister is also planning a wedding this is one of the tidbits we discovered together as there are two mothers on their side that are in both weddings. apparently the step mother and mother of the groom went dress shopping and the bridal boutique insisted they have a photo of the mother of the brides gown before proceeding even though they knew the color. again. who knew? the cooridination goes as far as if the MOB is wearing a bolero all should wear a bolero, really?

this led to lots of polite 'just let us know when your mom picks a gown so we can start shopping' talk, which is nice but i say - screw it! wear what you want, don't look like a bride or a bridesmaid, and dress appropriate for the formality of the event and you'll be all set, am i wrong? let's discuss.

sketching it out

look at me all motivated and getting things done today! i owe it all to the sun finally coming out over the streets of boston.

i finally scanned some of the sketches i have been sitting on, i don't know what it is but i hate scanning - i always always procrastinate doing it until the last possible moment - if it wasn't for a homework assignment these little scratches might have stayed in my notebook forever.

the first is just a doodle i made waiting for mike to get off of work late one night at his bar. i was early on in the inspiration design phase and i had to get my ideas out to take a look, even if only on the back of a receipt. i dont know why but i really like this little mess so i've held onto it.

thanks to the paper source for the heads up on their new kraft paper lines (finally!) i spent this afternoon purchasing a lot of the stock for our invitations, even though i dont have the designs completely finished it feels so good to have the paper purchased - out of the planning phase and moving into the making stages and one less thing i need to get done at some point.

i'm sorry i dont have any actual designs to share with you for feedback yet but i do have my initial sketches for you and i have pretty much stuck to it. i decided on (i admit with the help of a paper source staffer) kraft paper envelopes for the invitation and the response cards, ivory enclosure; invitation (with perhaps a kraft backing;) and response card stock, all to be tied up with some natural twine or raffia. it sounds bland when i write it out but with gray type and orange/peach accents i think it will be neutral and natural looking and hopefully not bland at all.

...next up i am going to take a stab at drawing that map...

a very long engagement

this week marks a full year since mike proposed to me... and i have to say it's been a long year, and im a bit worn out with all this wedding stuff, its begining to feel like a very very long engagement.

when we were first engaged we knew we wanted to be married in september but werent sure which year, 2009 or 2010. a 2009 wedding would mean a rather quick engagement and a wedding in a month where both of our siblings already had 3 of the 4 weekends booked up in addition to our fear that some of our dear friends might not make the party because of time needed for them to manage their travel or days away from work ( remember a lot of our friends live in los angeles.) we decided to wait.

i got a lot of grief from my parents about waiting so long, they couldnt understand what the complications were and why we would want to wait. in the end i am happy with our decision but a lot has happened in a year that has left me thinking about what might have been different if we had just gone for it.

the first hiccups are totally selfish bratty challenges that, at times i admit really got to me, but in general and in retrospect, have not been too much of a pain. since we have been engaged we have had 4 sets of friends (one set being mike's sister) get engaged - all of which are getting married before us. i couldnt help but feel like my thunder was stolen time and time again, i had only a few short weeks to feel special before i was going to engagement parties for my future sister in law with hardly the opportunity to slide in where appropriate that i was getting married too. it's been 10 months of celebrating others engagements and planning their weddings while i blog about my adventures in the privacy of my own home.

the second set of life changes are a little bigger. when we were engaged a year ago mike and i both had stable, 50 hour a week jobs and paychecks. since then we were both laid off, he has since taken up waiting tables and bartending while i am still waiting for the unemployment to kick in. looking back i feel like part of why we thought we were prepared to be married was that our professional lives were chugging along nicely like proper adults which since has changed. now mike and i find ourselves wondering how we became the degenerates of our families over cheap beer at the end of the day rather than looking at real estate.

the final changes are really the hardest to handle. as you know mike and i lost a dear friend a few weeks ago that was to read at our wedding, it hurts me to think that if we had the wedding last september he would have still been with us... but thats not the only health related complication. my father has since been diagnosed with a heart condition that requires him to have open heart surgery. we find out next week when the surgery will be, (we're thinking may so that he has time to heal) but it has left the family reluctant to book hotel rooms or flights for grandmothers until the surgery is over and we know he is okay. i have been trying my hardest not to have morbid thoughts because i know he will be fine, but it is definitely a hurdle that we are currently confronted with that has become a bit of a wall. finally mike's paternal grandfather is 96 years old and has been told that he has an aneurism that will end his life and he has decided not to have the procedure to try and prevent it which makes us feel like the clock is ticking and we might lose him any day.

(vintage paint by numbers that make me think of what the farm will look like in september)

im not going to say that i have regrets, or that my folks were right. i know we are going to have a fabulous party, almost all of our friends are going to be there with us, and i will have a full 2 months to celebrate without sharing my spotlight once the other weddings have come and gone. i no longer have to worry about missing work for the wedding or honeymoon, and with all this new free time i have lots of energy to devote to the design of our invitations and reception decor, but it feels good to admit that i have thought - what if? and, boy did we make a mistake?

how are all of you feeling about your engagement periods? way to long? not enough time? any regrets? are they all a mixed bag?

hair hmmm...

boy, it feels good to do a post about something that hasn't been a struggle or cost us an arm and a leg. I'm starting to think about my hair.

I always thought i would wear my hair down in natural looking waves with some sort of flower or hippie headband accessory to denote myself as the bride.

(green wedding shoes)

but. today i saw a photo from when i bought my dress taken of the back with my hair up and i though - geez - do i want to cover that up? my gown is strapless and an exposed back is pretty beautiful as far as i'm concerned. (my mother always told me to accentuate your assets and hide your flaws so the back and shoulders can take over for my hips any day!)

anyway. i started to rethink, could i do some sort of loose messy looking updo instead of loose locks?

and then i saw this bride on once wed today and thought that it was meant to be. what a good combo of showing off the length and sweeping the hair off the back at the same time with this messy side braid of sorts (more photos here.)

(once wed)

what do you girls think? have you decided how you're doing your do yet?

wild flower wedding

so. i met with a florist today. as much as i felt pushed into hiring a pro by a mother that simply had no faith that i could do it myself and really just didnt want to help, i am so relieved i did. i LOOOVE him.

keith of floral concepts in ogunquit maine not only totally understands my vision, he added some great elements, endless ideas, and is even letting me go with him to the flower market before the event to pick out the flowers together. i mean, for a girl that really wants to DIY but doesnt want a melt down on her wedding morning over table arrangements i dont know if it gets much better, someone is taking charge yet i am still totally involved. it's a great feeling. i owe a lot to sue and her great florist experience for the ability to let go of a little control.

here is what i brought with me to help illustrate my vision. (I'm sorry I've been collecting for so long i have no idea where the images came from originally)

here are some of the great ideas keith threw out there:

- there is a local vendor that will fill my vintage ball jars and milk jars with wax and wicks in the color of my choosing so that i can add color with my candle light and have the jars be heavy enough to not have to deal with adding sand or stones - genius? it's basically custom candles

- edible flowers and herbs for centerpieces and the buffet table, and possibly the cake...mmmm chamomile

- a ceremony aisle sprinkled with fragrant orange marigold heads rather than rose petals

- birch trees wrapped with white light bound to the supports of the tent for atmosphere and light

i mean really.

(p.s. that's not my dress but it does look very very very similar)

our anniversary

yep, we have (until the wedding of course) a valentine's day anniversary.

mike and i had been friends for years but always happened to have the timing wrong, he had a girlfriend or i had a boyfriend - we always had an eye open for the other but we just couldn't get it right. well, a little more than 4 years ago i was dumped by the guy we (myself and my friends) thought was going to be the one.

mike invited me to go to a friendly weeknight movie, neither of us quite sure if it was a date or just polite friendly companionship until it ended with a kiss. he told me that he thought he had missed his chance and that he would do whatever he had to do to make sure that when i was ready to love again he would be there.

well, mike proceeded to sweep me off my feet, asking if i would be his valentine (of course! i dont think anyone had ever asked me that, even when i did have a boyfriend.) he pulled out all of the stops, a gorgeous bouquet of orange, red and gold gerber daisies delivered to my work (also a first) wrapped in luxurious brown kraft paper (he had me pinned) and then he picked me up for a romantic get away. there was a cd he made just for me playing on the stereo and a bottle of wine to enjoy (i know not legal but it was so romantic) as we drove up the pacific coast highway to the sunset restaurant in malibu, a little spot perched on the water with glass windows for 360 degrees so the moonlight sparkling off the crashing waves was our ambience. we took an after dinner stroll on the beach and eventually made our home to the soundtrack of a different even more romantic cd he made.

today, four years later we have postponed valentines day until tomorrow because mike has to work tonight. we spent the morning running errands and now he sits next to me as i type playing blackbird on the guitar, today's soundtrack, and i couldn't ask for anything more.

it just keeps raining...waiting for the rainbows

ok, i know that this is supposed to be an outlet for wedding planning and sharing this common experience we are all going through, but i can't help but share what has been going on in my life that has put the focus of wedding planning into perspective.

as you may have guessed by this post, we lost a very dear friend a week or so ago. one of mike's best friends, someone that i have been so close with for the last 11 years, someone that was to do a reading at our wedding (i guess i'm still compelled to put it into that context for you) that we will now have to find a way to honor respectfully without turning our celebration into another memorial. it's a very sad time but we have a lot of great friends that we are able to mourn with and heal with and remember with, therefore we are blessed.

with this wound still so raw i was laid off yesterday, without notice, after working for the company for 5 years and with no severance package to speak of.

none of this is good, but it shines a light on the good stuff i have in my partner in life. every bump along the road brings us closer together and i am just so grateful to have him, to take care of him, to let him take care of me, and for the two of us to buck up together and continue to take on what the world dishes out. there are good things on the horizon, i am free of a life where i struggled to get out of bed in the morning, now we can begin creating our happily every after.

i predict that i may go a little DIY crazy with all this free time, so i hope it means i will have lots of great things to share with you all! thanks for listening, xoxo

...back to decorating

after a brief hiatus to let life happen i am back to wedding planning and am very excited about my last totally unnecessary (can we say shop therapy) decorative accent.

i've purchase a few lots of vintage hankies in oranges and yellows to add a punch of color under our vintage pewter water pitchers. we've chosen to go with plain ivory table linens and napkins to keep things simple and i had been debating a few different ideas to add some color or texture to the blank canvas and ground the centerpieces. after looking at different linen, burlap, and doily options i decided to go with these vintage floral hankies. i love the whimsy, the variety of patterns, the lack of sewing involved, and the overall feeling of vintage farm house which is what i hope comes through from our overall look. i thought they might be too girlie for mike but he totally approves (goes to show you no matter how well you think you know someone they can still surprise you.)

i bought more handkerchiefs than there are tables. i like the idea of having some extra to add as accents in other areas, to the bar, mason jar candles, bread baskets, and i don't even know yet...i also like the idea that i can send them home with some special friends or family as treats at the end of the night or take them home with me to make pillow covers or quilts (if i get adventurous and learn to use a sewing machine!) as useful momentos of the day.

The Big Chill

For the worst of reasons we are living in The Big Chill this week. I hope for new memories from these familiar faces to mix in with the tears, story telling - and really good tunes.