April Showers

This weekend is my soon to be sister in law's surprise shower and i am so excited! I could have never guessed a year ago that i would be so excited to celebrate my friend's and loved one's pending marriages but i really am. At this point I'm a little relieved to be able to duck having the wedding questions directed at me and enjoy being a guest and bridesmaid and listen to their stories and stresses and join in their excitement. I'm also excited to have a ladies day with Mike's family, there are a lot of great women that i really don't get to see enough, and because i have a small family the big italian get-togethers are a lot of fun to me.

But, I'm a bit neurotic too. I love wrapping gifts, it's always been a big thing in my family, and in the last year or so i really havent veered too far from brown kraft paper wrapping for all occasions. So why on earth am i worried that my soon to be in laws might think i'm nuts or a cheapo for bringing a craft paper gift instead of one in shiny bridal paper? If it was any other girlfriend of mine, (especially the crafty or earth conscious ones) i wouldnt think twice about it. But here under the fear of judgement by my soon to be family i keep questioning myself, i mean - really Kristy - do you think anyone will even remember what you brought let alone what it was wrapped in? Sheesh the world does not revolve around you!

The maid of honor has been a rock star setting up this shower, she has included so many special touches, photo books, recipes, a mother flown in from the west coast AND has managed to keep it all a surprise. I can't wait to see the brides reaction!

advice

when i was in LA i made a point to have lunch with a certain dear friend of mine who happens to have been married to his high school sweetheart for 7 years now, so i had to ask if he had any advice to pass on to us...

he had three things to say.

1- the seven year itch does exist (may be hard to hear but at least he's honest with me)

2- that advice about not going to bed mad is not just a cliche it's something to live by

3 - read the book his needs, her needs. though an affair is not a concern of theirs he feels that the book is right on. so much so that he read it and then said to his wife, "i'm not sure about the her needs stuff but the his needs are spot on" - his wife after reading had the reverse to say, they have since referred to the book as a reminder not only to know what the other needs to but actively work on it at all times.

Marriage works only when each spouse takes the time to consider the other's needs and strives to meet them. In His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses.

LA bachelorette weekend

i'm back from my jam packed weekend of fun and girls in los angeles and i'm missing them all so much already it hurts!

being the first real bridal events of my engagement it really seems like the ball is rolling, the summer of weddings is underway - and my life as a mrs. is just around the corner. i had so much fun celebrating with my girlfriend karina - our friend andrea was a master planner and

host making it possible for the herd of ladies to get it all in and still have smiles on their faces.

we started with a sushi dinner on friday night once all of the other travelers landed from new york and seattle at izakaya followed by cocktails at the village idiot.

saturday morning started bright and early with our lingerie brunch at tart (highly recommended by the way, the ambiance is really darling, the service was fantastic, the food was delicious and the prices were unbelievable.)

after the storm of nighties was tamed we made our way to the lounge spa. again, for any girls in the LA area looking to do a spa party i give the lounge spa a big thumbs up. we had our own private little lounge, complete with spread of snacks and drinks (compliments of andrea) to hang out together while two by two girls were whisked away to their appointments, it was a great way to spend time relaxing together in smaller groups, we got to catch up on the gossip from our far away friends, have our tarot cards read and be pampered.

we traded our white robes black dresses and headed off to the hollywood men. the giggles of anxiety and anticipation started early and only became magnified when one we realized that one of our friends sprung for a seat right up front and another let the words "on stage" slip. it was so much fun, we laughed so hard, the boys were cute and the girls were crazy, it felt like a legitimate bachelorette party. part of me is still embarrassed but i think thats part of the point, when else do you subject yourself to such a thing? men dressed in firefighter costumes or like soldiers with back street boy routines? too funny.

looks like a whirlwind? it was! though i somehow also managed to get some great shopping in while i was there ...more on that later!

map II...etc

thanks for the feedback ladies - I'm very happy with the results, check it out:

I realize i've been a little m.i.a. lately but it's because of anticipation and preparation, there is lots in the works...

...on wednesday i go to LA for my first official bridal celebrations, (hooray!) shoe shopping, and dress shopping for the rehearsal dinner and the 4 other weddings we are attending this summer. i will also be spending time with my future mother in law in the OC to check out her dress and spend some qt with her before the whirl wind of events commences (she has a daughter and a son getting married this summer after all.)

i have also recently ordered all of the supplies to make candles out of my vintage mason jars ( a project my sister is helping with on her spring break in a few weeks), designed all of the invitations (still procrastinating printing,) and started buying shower gifts for the aforementioned additional celebrations. i promise to share stories and photos from the shower and girlie activities this weekend and i'm sure with all of these new projects and hurdles will come lots more questions, sharing, and discussions...i'm going to think of this time as not having been m.i.a. but rather the ebb before high tide comes in and transitions into hurricane season!

map

i'm a proud bride to be today because i just finished drawing the map insert for our invitations. yes i'm still procrastinating designing the meat of them but it's all got to get done regardless of the order right? progress is progress.

i was inspired by these map tote bags, and though my design fell a little short i'm pretty happy with the results. i think they are a good functional mix of hand drawn lines and legibility, which is what a map is really all about right, getting where you need to go? the size of the invitation insert is about 5" x 4" so too much info would just be a jumble for the small application. i think i may add a Maine title a la the tote bags but i'm still debating...thoughts?

the dress

i finally took some photos of myself in the dress so i could share them with my LA girlfriend and shopping buddy. she is going to help me on my shoe hunt. i was afraid to share with her but did so i thought i'd suck it up and share with you all as well.

since i've had such dress anxiety i'm a little terrified about putting it out there, like if it's not good and i dont show anyone until the day of the wedding they wont have any way to tell me they dont like it until after when it wont matter anymore. crazy i know.

that being said, i'd love to hear what you think...( but really only if you think it's pretty and i'm nuts, i can't handle any negative feedback!)

they are hidden here:

MIKE NO PEEKING

goodbye evite - hello paperless post

as my los angeles girls weekend of fun approaches the emails and invitations have begun to circulate and i just had to share the company i am using to send e-invitations out for our lingerie brunch. it's called paperless post and it is like evite for the design minded girl.

they have a limited selection of patterns (they are still in beta so i hope that means more to come) but they are all very classy and give you great color control, they also have some photo options for those who wish to really personalize. the have really elegant font choices, type size, line spacing, and justification control. the kicker is that the invitation looks and acts like a paper invitation, a beautiful envelope - fully lined flips over and opens to reveal the details - it was perfect for a last minute, not super formal party which we would have sent paper invites for if we had thought it through better. i highly suggest checking them out if you have been thinking about going the digital route for any of your events ( and i'm not being paid by them i swear!) the one downside - BEWARE of the pay for extras.

thats news to me

i just got a new piece of "wedding etiquette" that i was unaware of, and might i say have no interest in being concerned about, but i thought it worth mentioning just to see if you all have ever heard of such a thing.

did you know that the mother of the bride is to buy her dress first and then all of the other mothers are to match her in fabric choice and length? who knew? since mike's sister is also planning a wedding this is one of the tidbits we discovered together as there are two mothers on their side that are in both weddings. apparently the step mother and mother of the groom went dress shopping and the bridal boutique insisted they have a photo of the mother of the brides gown before proceeding even though they knew the color. again. who knew? the cooridination goes as far as if the MOB is wearing a bolero all should wear a bolero, really?

this led to lots of polite 'just let us know when your mom picks a gown so we can start shopping' talk, which is nice but i say - screw it! wear what you want, don't look like a bride or a bridesmaid, and dress appropriate for the formality of the event and you'll be all set, am i wrong? let's discuss.

sketching it out

look at me all motivated and getting things done today! i owe it all to the sun finally coming out over the streets of boston.

i finally scanned some of the sketches i have been sitting on, i don't know what it is but i hate scanning - i always always procrastinate doing it until the last possible moment - if it wasn't for a homework assignment these little scratches might have stayed in my notebook forever.

the first is just a doodle i made waiting for mike to get off of work late one night at his bar. i was early on in the inspiration design phase and i had to get my ideas out to take a look, even if only on the back of a receipt. i dont know why but i really like this little mess so i've held onto it.

thanks to the paper source for the heads up on their new kraft paper lines (finally!) i spent this afternoon purchasing a lot of the stock for our invitations, even though i dont have the designs completely finished it feels so good to have the paper purchased - out of the planning phase and moving into the making stages and one less thing i need to get done at some point.

i'm sorry i dont have any actual designs to share with you for feedback yet but i do have my initial sketches for you and i have pretty much stuck to it. i decided on (i admit with the help of a paper source staffer) kraft paper envelopes for the invitation and the response cards, ivory enclosure; invitation (with perhaps a kraft backing;) and response card stock, all to be tied up with some natural twine or raffia. it sounds bland when i write it out but with gray type and orange/peach accents i think it will be neutral and natural looking and hopefully not bland at all.

...next up i am going to take a stab at drawing that map...

a very long engagement

this week marks a full year since mike proposed to me... and i have to say it's been a long year, and im a bit worn out with all this wedding stuff, its begining to feel like a very very long engagement.

when we were first engaged we knew we wanted to be married in september but werent sure which year, 2009 or 2010. a 2009 wedding would mean a rather quick engagement and a wedding in a month where both of our siblings already had 3 of the 4 weekends booked up in addition to our fear that some of our dear friends might not make the party because of time needed for them to manage their travel or days away from work ( remember a lot of our friends live in los angeles.) we decided to wait.

i got a lot of grief from my parents about waiting so long, they couldnt understand what the complications were and why we would want to wait. in the end i am happy with our decision but a lot has happened in a year that has left me thinking about what might have been different if we had just gone for it.

the first hiccups are totally selfish bratty challenges that, at times i admit really got to me, but in general and in retrospect, have not been too much of a pain. since we have been engaged we have had 4 sets of friends (one set being mike's sister) get engaged - all of which are getting married before us. i couldnt help but feel like my thunder was stolen time and time again, i had only a few short weeks to feel special before i was going to engagement parties for my future sister in law with hardly the opportunity to slide in where appropriate that i was getting married too. it's been 10 months of celebrating others engagements and planning their weddings while i blog about my adventures in the privacy of my own home.

the second set of life changes are a little bigger. when we were engaged a year ago mike and i both had stable, 50 hour a week jobs and paychecks. since then we were both laid off, he has since taken up waiting tables and bartending while i am still waiting for the unemployment to kick in. looking back i feel like part of why we thought we were prepared to be married was that our professional lives were chugging along nicely like proper adults which since has changed. now mike and i find ourselves wondering how we became the degenerates of our families over cheap beer at the end of the day rather than looking at real estate.

the final changes are really the hardest to handle. as you know mike and i lost a dear friend a few weeks ago that was to read at our wedding, it hurts me to think that if we had the wedding last september he would have still been with us... but thats not the only health related complication. my father has since been diagnosed with a heart condition that requires him to have open heart surgery. we find out next week when the surgery will be, (we're thinking may so that he has time to heal) but it has left the family reluctant to book hotel rooms or flights for grandmothers until the surgery is over and we know he is okay. i have been trying my hardest not to have morbid thoughts because i know he will be fine, but it is definitely a hurdle that we are currently confronted with that has become a bit of a wall. finally mike's paternal grandfather is 96 years old and has been told that he has an aneurism that will end his life and he has decided not to have the procedure to try and prevent it which makes us feel like the clock is ticking and we might lose him any day.

(vintage paint by numbers that make me think of what the farm will look like in september)

im not going to say that i have regrets, or that my folks were right. i know we are going to have a fabulous party, almost all of our friends are going to be there with us, and i will have a full 2 months to celebrate without sharing my spotlight once the other weddings have come and gone. i no longer have to worry about missing work for the wedding or honeymoon, and with all this new free time i have lots of energy to devote to the design of our invitations and reception decor, but it feels good to admit that i have thought - what if? and, boy did we make a mistake?

how are all of you feeling about your engagement periods? way to long? not enough time? any regrets? are they all a mixed bag?

hair hmmm...

boy, it feels good to do a post about something that hasn't been a struggle or cost us an arm and a leg. I'm starting to think about my hair.

I always thought i would wear my hair down in natural looking waves with some sort of flower or hippie headband accessory to denote myself as the bride.

(green wedding shoes)

but. today i saw a photo from when i bought my dress taken of the back with my hair up and i though - geez - do i want to cover that up? my gown is strapless and an exposed back is pretty beautiful as far as i'm concerned. (my mother always told me to accentuate your assets and hide your flaws so the back and shoulders can take over for my hips any day!)

anyway. i started to rethink, could i do some sort of loose messy looking updo instead of loose locks?

and then i saw this bride on once wed today and thought that it was meant to be. what a good combo of showing off the length and sweeping the hair off the back at the same time with this messy side braid of sorts (more photos here.)

(once wed)

what do you girls think? have you decided how you're doing your do yet?

wild flower wedding

so. i met with a florist today. as much as i felt pushed into hiring a pro by a mother that simply had no faith that i could do it myself and really just didnt want to help, i am so relieved i did. i LOOOVE him.

keith of floral concepts in ogunquit maine not only totally understands my vision, he added some great elements, endless ideas, and is even letting me go with him to the flower market before the event to pick out the flowers together. i mean, for a girl that really wants to DIY but doesnt want a melt down on her wedding morning over table arrangements i dont know if it gets much better, someone is taking charge yet i am still totally involved. it's a great feeling. i owe a lot to sue and her great florist experience for the ability to let go of a little control.

here is what i brought with me to help illustrate my vision. (I'm sorry I've been collecting for so long i have no idea where the images came from originally)

here are some of the great ideas keith threw out there:

- there is a local vendor that will fill my vintage ball jars and milk jars with wax and wicks in the color of my choosing so that i can add color with my candle light and have the jars be heavy enough to not have to deal with adding sand or stones - genius? it's basically custom candles

- edible flowers and herbs for centerpieces and the buffet table, and possibly the cake...mmmm chamomile

- a ceremony aisle sprinkled with fragrant orange marigold heads rather than rose petals

- birch trees wrapped with white light bound to the supports of the tent for atmosphere and light

i mean really.

(p.s. that's not my dress but it does look very very very similar)