Wednesday, December 9, 2009

make your own holiday

splitting up the holidays is one of the hardest things about being in a relationship and starting a "new" family. since mike and i have moved home (back to boston from LA) we thought it would make our divvying up of the holidays easier since most of the family is within a few hours of each other, but it really hasn't and i think this is something we all have to adjust to. Between us there are three sets of parents (one set in california) and on top of that siblings with husbands, wives ,and children, with their own balancing act going on to help dictate who will be where when.

lucky for us my family celebrates christmas on christmas eve (a remnant from my parents' generation balancing act getting us kids to both grandmothers on christmas day) so it frees up christmas day for visiting mike's family. the wrench? the years in california. in the past i've been a brat about it and flown by myself on christmas morning to meet mike at his mom's so i can still have my family christmas, but i know that can't last forever, it breaks up the newest family, ours - and i think sets a bad president for when our children come. Trading off years is only fair to everyone, ( though i may not always be mature enough to see it!)

another issue we have been dealing with is that we miss hosting a holiday tradition. when we lived in LA i used to throw a big thanksgiving party for all of our misfit friends - and i loved it! we're entertainers and we miss it!

this year we decided to start a new tradition of our own to get all of the families together and to have a chance to host the event, by throwing a pre-christmas party. this saturday we are having both full families over (plus a few close friends) and we're really excited about it. we also just learned that my brother and sister-in-law will be spending christmas with her family this year which makes the idea of us all being together this weekend that much nicer. the tree is up, the egg nog has been purchased and the chex mix is in the oven as we speak - it's really starting to feel like the holidays in our little home.

how have you all been doing with the family holiday shuffle? have you found yourself having a hard time sharing or letting go of past traditions? have you started any new traditions of your own?


  1. I love that you are hosting an early Christmas. For us it's not so much about having it on the "actual" day. If we have the day with Mr B's family then my family have another Christmas a few days later. It means we get to do it all twice!

  2. I'm not even married yet and already dealing with the craziness! Trying to please all 3 families.. I too am selfish about it and want my families traditions to stay the same so I make sure to spend Christmas eve with my fam!
    So don't feel bad, your not the only one out there being selfish :)

  3. This is our first year with the shuffle. So far so good.

  4. Ugh, makes me sad just thinking about it. We will ultimately have to start trading off Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his and the next Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine. The main reason I don't see us being able to do both is because most of his family lives in Northern California and when he goes up there he leaves several days before the holiday which means no Christmas Eve here and Christmas Day there :( My plan is that we will hopefully start having the holidays at our own house in future years and have all of his and my family come to us! :)