hair hmmm...

boy, it feels good to do a post about something that hasn't been a struggle or cost us an arm and a leg. I'm starting to think about my hair.

I always thought i would wear my hair down in natural looking waves with some sort of flower or hippie headband accessory to denote myself as the bride.

(green wedding shoes)

but. today i saw a photo from when i bought my dress taken of the back with my hair up and i though - geez - do i want to cover that up? my gown is strapless and an exposed back is pretty beautiful as far as i'm concerned. (my mother always told me to accentuate your assets and hide your flaws so the back and shoulders can take over for my hips any day!)

anyway. i started to rethink, could i do some sort of loose messy looking updo instead of loose locks?

and then i saw this bride on once wed today and thought that it was meant to be. what a good combo of showing off the length and sweeping the hair off the back at the same time with this messy side braid of sorts (more photos here.)

(once wed)

what do you girls think? have you decided how you're doing your do yet?

wild flower wedding

so. i met with a florist today. as much as i felt pushed into hiring a pro by a mother that simply had no faith that i could do it myself and really just didnt want to help, i am so relieved i did. i LOOOVE him.

keith of floral concepts in ogunquit maine not only totally understands my vision, he added some great elements, endless ideas, and is even letting me go with him to the flower market before the event to pick out the flowers together. i mean, for a girl that really wants to DIY but doesnt want a melt down on her wedding morning over table arrangements i dont know if it gets much better, someone is taking charge yet i am still totally involved. it's a great feeling. i owe a lot to sue and her great florist experience for the ability to let go of a little control.

here is what i brought with me to help illustrate my vision. (I'm sorry I've been collecting for so long i have no idea where the images came from originally)

here are some of the great ideas keith threw out there:

- there is a local vendor that will fill my vintage ball jars and milk jars with wax and wicks in the color of my choosing so that i can add color with my candle light and have the jars be heavy enough to not have to deal with adding sand or stones - genius? it's basically custom candles

- edible flowers and herbs for centerpieces and the buffet table, and possibly the cake...mmmm chamomile

- a ceremony aisle sprinkled with fragrant orange marigold heads rather than rose petals

- birch trees wrapped with white light bound to the supports of the tent for atmosphere and light

i mean really.

(p.s. that's not my dress but it does look very very very similar)

our anniversary

yep, we have (until the wedding of course) a valentine's day anniversary.

mike and i had been friends for years but always happened to have the timing wrong, he had a girlfriend or i had a boyfriend - we always had an eye open for the other but we just couldn't get it right. well, a little more than 4 years ago i was dumped by the guy we (myself and my friends) thought was going to be the one.

mike invited me to go to a friendly weeknight movie, neither of us quite sure if it was a date or just polite friendly companionship until it ended with a kiss. he told me that he thought he had missed his chance and that he would do whatever he had to do to make sure that when i was ready to love again he would be there.

well, mike proceeded to sweep me off my feet, asking if i would be his valentine (of course! i dont think anyone had ever asked me that, even when i did have a boyfriend.) he pulled out all of the stops, a gorgeous bouquet of orange, red and gold gerber daisies delivered to my work (also a first) wrapped in luxurious brown kraft paper (he had me pinned) and then he picked me up for a romantic get away. there was a cd he made just for me playing on the stereo and a bottle of wine to enjoy (i know not legal but it was so romantic) as we drove up the pacific coast highway to the sunset restaurant in malibu, a little spot perched on the water with glass windows for 360 degrees so the moonlight sparkling off the crashing waves was our ambience. we took an after dinner stroll on the beach and eventually made our home to the soundtrack of a different even more romantic cd he made.

today, four years later we have postponed valentines day until tomorrow because mike has to work tonight. we spent the morning running errands and now he sits next to me as i type playing blackbird on the guitar, today's soundtrack, and i couldn't ask for anything more.

it just keeps raining...waiting for the rainbows

ok, i know that this is supposed to be an outlet for wedding planning and sharing this common experience we are all going through, but i can't help but share what has been going on in my life that has put the focus of wedding planning into perspective.

as you may have guessed by this post, we lost a very dear friend a week or so ago. one of mike's best friends, someone that i have been so close with for the last 11 years, someone that was to do a reading at our wedding (i guess i'm still compelled to put it into that context for you) that we will now have to find a way to honor respectfully without turning our celebration into another memorial. it's a very sad time but we have a lot of great friends that we are able to mourn with and heal with and remember with, therefore we are blessed.

with this wound still so raw i was laid off yesterday, without notice, after working for the company for 5 years and with no severance package to speak of.

none of this is good, but it shines a light on the good stuff i have in my partner in life. every bump along the road brings us closer together and i am just so grateful to have him, to take care of him, to let him take care of me, and for the two of us to buck up together and continue to take on what the world dishes out. there are good things on the horizon, i am free of a life where i struggled to get out of bed in the morning, now we can begin creating our happily every after.

i predict that i may go a little DIY crazy with all this free time, so i hope it means i will have lots of great things to share with you all! thanks for listening, xoxo

...back to decorating

after a brief hiatus to let life happen i am back to wedding planning and am very excited about my last totally unnecessary (can we say shop therapy) decorative accent.

i've purchase a few lots of vintage hankies in oranges and yellows to add a punch of color under our vintage pewter water pitchers. we've chosen to go with plain ivory table linens and napkins to keep things simple and i had been debating a few different ideas to add some color or texture to the blank canvas and ground the centerpieces. after looking at different linen, burlap, and doily options i decided to go with these vintage floral hankies. i love the whimsy, the variety of patterns, the lack of sewing involved, and the overall feeling of vintage farm house which is what i hope comes through from our overall look. i thought they might be too girlie for mike but he totally approves (goes to show you no matter how well you think you know someone they can still surprise you.)

i bought more handkerchiefs than there are tables. i like the idea of having some extra to add as accents in other areas, to the bar, mason jar candles, bread baskets, and i don't even know yet...i also like the idea that i can send them home with some special friends or family as treats at the end of the night or take them home with me to make pillow covers or quilts (if i get adventurous and learn to use a sewing machine!) as useful momentos of the day.

The Big Chill

For the worst of reasons we are living in The Big Chill this week. I hope for new memories from these familiar faces to mix in with the tears, story telling - and really good tunes.